Cup of Tea
by hpmaniac666
Summary: Simon and Kaylee didn’t just wake up one morning and realise they were in love. Like granules of tea seeping through into boiling water, it was a gradual process.Begins near the beginning of FF and tracks their relationship through series.
1. Chapter 1

Simon and Kaylee didn't just wake up one morning and realise they were in love. Like granules of tea seeping through into boiling water, it was a gradual process. S/K, obviously, begins near the beginning of the series and tracks their relationship throughout Firefly and beyond, discarding movie. First of (probably) five parts.

Cup of Tea – Part One

Kaylee flopped into her hammock with a weary sigh, and began to wipe her greasy hands on a once clean rag. By the rumbling in her stomach, she could tell it was almost eleven o clock. As she did most days, she got to her feet and left the engine room, glancing around the empty galley as she entered. No one was ever around at this time, so soon after breakfast and so near to lunchtime. Kaylee liked it; a moment to herself.

She poured herself a cup of tea and sat at the table, stirring it absently. She was helping herself to a biscuit when footsteps behind her caused her to turn in surprise. When she saw who had arrived, she beamed.

"Simon," she greeted him warmly. He smiled in return, a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, she noticed.

"Cup of tea?" The words were out of her mouth before she realised it.

He looked marginally surprised, but nodded his thanks. He took a seat as she poured tea into another mug and pushed it towards him. She watched as he added a lump of sugar distractedly and took a sip.

"This is good," he told her appreciatively. He wanted to say something about how she was the only one on this boat who could make a decent cup of tea. He even felt a small urge to thank her; she was the only one on this boat who treated him with anything other than cold resentment. But he didn't say anything.

"Somethin' wrong?" she asked, off the distant look on his face.

He shook his head. She raised her eyebrows disbelievingly and he couldn't help but smile at her persistence.

"It's nothing … it's just …"

"Your sister?" Kaylee supplied.

He nodded, looking guilty for even admitting that River was a problem.

"S'bound to take time," Kaylee told him fairly. "I know it's gotta be hard… you just gotta look at the bright side, doc."

"Simon," he corrected vaguely.

"Simon," Kaylee repeated, smiling.

Simon sighed. "I don't see a bright side," he admitted, despairingly. "It's been a month since I got River out of that place, and … there's been no improvement."

"She was in there for three years," Kaylee reminded him. "But she ain't there now. She's here, with you. That's the bright side."

Simon calmly surveyed the optimistic young woman in front of him, and mused that he'd never met anyone quite so refreshing before. He smiled wanly at her. "It's not much of a bright side."

Kaylee glanced down at her mug and took another sip. "Where is she now?"

"Sleeping," was the answer. At her questioning glance, Simon elaborated. "She sleeps better through the day. I think being able to hear everyone moving around makes her feel … safe. At night, when it's quiet, that's when the nightmares come. So I figure it's better to let her sleep in the mornings and then stay up later."

Kaylee smiled at him sympathetically. "Well, it's good that she feels safe here."

Simon chuckled suddenly. The sound was so unexpected, so unusual from the solemn doctor, that Kaylee started. Her own smile grew.

"You really are an eternal optimist, aren't you?" he asked, and Kaylee noticed a hint of admiration in his voice.

She shrugged, happily.

The next day, at exactly the same time, Kaylee made the tea as usual, taking a packet of biscuits from her locker, and settled happily into her chair. She was surprised to hear footsteps behind her again, and even more surprised, when she turned, to see Simon once more, walking towards her.

"Biscuit?" she offered, holding out the packet.

"Thank you," he said, taking one and sitting next to her. He looked happier today, or at least, less tense.

"How's River?" Kaylee asked.

"Good," he said, nibbling at his biscuit adorably. "She's sleeping now. But earlier, we were talking and…" he broke off, grinning and looked right at her. Kaylee could see that for once, his smile had reached his eyes. "It was almost like I had her back, you know?"

"See," Kaylee said, in a mock I-told-you-so tone. "Bright side."

"Well, there's still a long way to go yet," Simon said, sobering slightly. "But, I'm hopeful."

Kaylee winked at him. "Fingers crossed."

There were a few moments of comfortable silence between them, until Kaylee spoke.

"There's tea in the kettle, if'n you want it," she told him, taking a sip from her own mug.

He murmured his thanks as he stood up, moving over to pour himself a cup.

"Do you do this every day?" he asked, busying himself with the kettle.

"Do what?" she asked thickly, having just taken a big bite from her biscuit.

He watched in amusement as she wiped cookie crumbs from her mouth, blushing.

"This," He gestured around at the galley. "A cup of tea at eleven, every day?"

She nodded. "Don't be forgettin' the biscuits," she added.

A smile was creeping once more onto his face. "Of course not," He settled back into his seat, looking at her in interest.

"I like it," she told him simply. "It's always quiet round about now, and besides, I can never last till lunchtime. I get hungry." She half whispered the last bit, looking mildly abashed.

Surprisingly, Simon nodded in agreement. "Tell me about it. I used to dread the morning shift, back at the hospital. It's weird how you can go six or seven hours between lunch and dinner without getting hungry, but even an hour after breakfast your stomach starts rumbling."

Kaylee giggled. "Finally, someone with the same problem!"

He smiled at her again, and she felt her stomach jolt from something very different to hunger. It struck her again just how handsome he was.

He started talking again and she shook herself, mentally admonishing herself for staring.

By the fifth day, Kaylee was beginning to expect him. She checked her watch, which read 11:03, and told herself she was being stupid, he was only a few minutes later than usual, and besides, it wasn't as if this was a _date _… she stirred sugar into her tea, letting the teaspoon clack against the mug louder than was necessary, as if to summon him to her. She heard his footsteps behind her and smiled to herself. Then she turned and smiled even more brightly at him.

"Cup of tea?"

On the ninth day, when he arrived, she wordlessly retrieved another mug from the shelf and started pouring. He stood next to her and pulled the sugar bowl toward them. "Two lumps?" he murmured, almost to himself. She nodded.

On the twelfth day, when he walked in, she was sitting happily in her usual chair, steaming mug before her, with a second mug in front of his usual seat, and a pack of biscuits between the two seats.

"Milky, one sugar," she informed him, as he sat down. He pulled the mug towards him and took a sip. Looking over at her, he gave a big sigh of contentment.

"Perfect."

The next day, Kaylee entered the galley to find him sitting there already, mugs and biscuits already in place.

"Very milky, two sugars," he said, sounding quite proud of himself.

She sat opposite him, feeling a little giddy at his thoughtful gesture. She drank deeply from the cup.

"Perfect."

Simon leaned back in his chair, his grin growing. "Good."

The day after Simon and River's 'hill-folk abduction,' River went to sleep without a fuss, without Simon even needing to give her a smoother He checked his watch, and saw he had half an hour before meeting Kaylee. Not that they arranged to meet of course, but it had become an unspoken tradition, and one on which he was coming to rely.

They hadn't met as usual the day before, however, as they'd been planetside. Simon winced as he remembered the conversation he'd had with Kaylee in the general store. River had been having a bad day, and he had forgotten himself. He guessed Kaylee knew that, she was nothing if not understanding, and she'd seemed pleased to have him back on board the previous night, not mentioning their exchange or cold shouldering him in anyway. Still, Simon regretted what he'd said, and he had half an hour to prepare for making up for it.

Kaylee reached the galley and gave Simon a wide smile in greeting. Then she took in the sight before her.

"I thought we ate 'em all last night," she gasped.

"I saved my share," Simon told her. "There isn't many…but… uh. They're for you."

He felt himself going red and turned to stir his tea needlessly. Kaylee moved into her seat.

"What's the special occasion?" she asked, eyes still fixed on the plate in front of her.

Simon grimaced. "Actually, it's more of a peace offering… an apology. For what I said yesterday. I was out of order …"

Kaylee cut in. "It's okay, doc, ain't no need to apologise. You was worried about River, I understand."

"That's no excuse for my behaviour."

"It ain't an excuse. It's a reason," she said firmly.

Simon smiled. "So I'm forgiven?"

Kaylee shook her head. "Nope. Not until there's something to forgive."

Simon chuckled, despite himself. "Well, I'm still sorry."

Kaylee looked at him with a warm smile. "It's okay."

They looked at each other for a moment. Then Simon shook himself.

"Well, are you going to eat them or not?"

Eyes wide, Kaylee reached over and plucked a glistening strawberry from the plate. Simon watched her eat it, pure joy on her face. The thought that it was worth having to apologise just to watch her eye lashes flutter in ecstasy crossed his mind.

He told himself firmly that there was nothing at all sexual about eating a strawberry, and averted his eyes.

Two months to the day since Simon had boarded Serenity for the first time, he entered the galley at five to eleven as usual. He filled the kettle, and as it boiled, he filled a plate full of biscuits, making sure to add more of Kaylee's favourites to the mix. He moved automatically, going through the motions as he had over and over for the past few weeks, but his mind was elsewhere, worrying about River.

He didn't even hear Kaylee enter, she moved with a softness that belied her bubbly demeanour. When he turned to place the mugs on the table, he found her already seated, and jumped a little, sloshing boiling tea over his right hand.

She giggled for a moment before realising what had happened, and moved quickly to him, taking the mugs out of his hands.

"Simon," she gasped, "Are you okay?"

He winced, shaking the cooling droplets from his skin. "It's fine."

She took his hand in hers, turning it over to look at the inflamed skin. He noticed how soft her hands were, how firm, and worn from working in the engine room. He almost smiled against the pain.

"Cold water," he murmured, and she let his hand go so he could run it under the tap. He heard her moving around behind him as he gently poked his own skin, looking for evidence of a potential blister, but the burn wasn't bad.

She returned to his side and handed him a glass of ice. Thanking her, they moved to the table, and he sank his hand into the ice, letting it numb the stinging flesh.

"Are you okay?" she asked again.

"It's nothing," he told her, glancing at his hand.

"I never meant your hand," she told him, not quite meeting his eye. "When I came in here you was in a world of your own."

Simon shrugged.

"River?" Kaylee pressed.

Simon considered her. Kaylee had, more than anyone on board, bonded with River over the short time they had known each other. Kaylee alone treated River like a normal girl, something which Simon was sure helped immeasurably, and something which he was incapable of himself, despite trying. He sighed heavily.

"It was a bad night," he allowed. She watched him, silently waiting for him to elaborate.

"And an even worse morning," he added.

Kaylee blinked sadly. "I thought she was getting better."

Simon looked down at the uninjured hand resting in his lap. "Some days, it seems like she is. And then other days, it's like she's getting worse."

Kaylee took a biscuit, mournfully snapping it in half and dipping one half into her now lukewarm tea, not really paying attention to her actions.

"I'm sorry," she said after a moment.

He looked at her, wondering if she was going to say anything else. She didn't

He shifted his aching hand slightly. There really wasn't anything else to say.

Two weeks later, Simon entered the galley with a bounce in his step, and found Kaylee sitting there already, tea and biscuits laid out. He gave a curious glance, wondering why she was early, as she usually forced herself to work straight through till eleven.

Smiling in an embarrassed way, Kaylee held up a finger, which he realised she had been nursing in her other hand. It was bleeding a little.

"What did you do?" he asked, hurrying over.

"Got it caught in the engine," she told him, sounding more amused at her own carelessness than anything else.

He took her hand in his, and she smiled at how gentle he was.

"It ain't deep or nothing," she told him, not wanting to trouble the skilled doctor with a tiny graze.

"No, but it's dirty," he said.

"Well, I'm a mechanic," she told him, her voice sounding the slightest bit defensive.

He nodded, his eyes twinkling a little. "I know. But you don't want to risk infection. Come on," he said, gently pulling her to her feet. "I'll clean it and give you a band aid."

She giggled.

"Shiny. What colours you got?"


	2. Chapter 2

Cup of Tea - Part Two

Simon's watch read eleven o' clock and he felt an odd sense of loss in the pit of his stomach. The crew were planetside, buying supplies, which meant no tea, no biscuits, no Kaylee. River was sleeping fitfully, leaving him to potter around the infirmary aimlessly. He half wished Jayne would return to wreak havoc, just so he would have something to _do _

Besides River, only the shepherd was on board. Simon's feet carried him to the area around the passenger quarters, where he found Book reading the Bible.

"Something I can do for you, son?" the shepherd asked.

Simon shook his head, feeling stupid. "No," he said. Then he paused, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

"It's awfully quiet, isn't it?" he said eventually. "When the others aren't around."

Book nodded slowly. "The crew have quite a presence," he agreed. "Especially Jayne. And the captain. They like to make themselves heard."

"And Kaylee," Simon said softly, the words tumbling out of his mouth without thought.

Book smiled. "Yes. She's a special one."

Simon didn't know it, but the wistful look in his eyes was apparent to Book, who noted it with interest.

"Yes. She is."

When Kaylee returned to the ship, her expression was unusually sullen. Simon sat in the galley with River, who was occupying most of his attention, but he noticed. She seemed to be avoiding the captain's eye, and the captain in turn was occasionally shooting her guilty looks. Simon wondered what had happened.

There was a crash and River's plate shattered at his feet. Simon jumped, coming out of his daze, and grabbed River, who was thrashing about wildly in her seat. She let out a sob as Simon guided her to her feet and out of the galley.

Kaylee spared him a sympathetic, but distracted look as he left the room.

Kaylee stood in front of the mirror, unable to control her smile as her reflection beamed back at her. She smoothed her dress down needlessly, touching the material as delicately as if it were spun out of sugar. All angry thoughts towards the captain forgotten, she spun round once on the spot, watching the material float out around her.

She was about to move towards the ladder of her bunk when she heard voices from above. The captain was greeting Simon as he passed. The thought of Simon stopped Kaylee in her tracks.

She stepped back in front of the mirror, thinking back to what the captain had said. Did she look out of place in this dress? Back on Osiris, Simon had probably seen hundred of girls in dresses much finer than this one. What would he think if he saw her? She fingered a ruffle pensively.

"Kaylee?" shouted the captain impatiently.

"Coming," she replied, and she exited her bunk. She saw his eyes widen slightly at the sight of her.

"How'd I look?" she asked.

Mal replied in his usual mean-old-man voice. "Fine. Let's get gone."

His eyes twinkled and Kaylee beamed. She did look good after all.

"Jayne. I wouldn't," said Zoe.

"Why not?"

Simon followed Zoe's gaze, and felt his chest constrict. There was Kaylee, standing in a dress that must have been at least a decade out of date, looking as beautiful as the setting sun. The image was ruined, however, by the ensemble of thugs surrounding her.

"Hi," she said, in a resigned voice.

"You're going to be just fine," Simon said, gently covering the captains wound. "You're very lucky."

"I'm gonna ask you to repeat that, next time you get stabbed," Mal retorted, glancing down at his side and wincing.

Simon gave him a hard look. "This could have been a lot more serious. You'll have to be careful for the next few …"

"You know how to sword fight?" Mal interrupted curiously.

Simon blinked "Excuse me?"

"Well that's the kind of world you come from, isn't it?"

Simon moved over to wash his hands. "I took fencing lessons when I was younger. Never really took to it."

Mal chuckled as he got to his feet. "Thanks doc."

Simon nodded and followed him out of the infirmary, heading towards the galley whilst checking his watch. Eleven o' five.

He found Kaylee sitting there, and she beamed at him. "Didn't think you'd make it," she said.

Simon looked at her smile, the way it lit up her entire face, and decided she looked every bit as beautiful sitting there in a jumpsuit as she did in the dress. He popped a biscuit in his mouth.

"Wouldn't miss this for the 'verse," he told her thickly, and she laughed as he wiped the biscuit crumbs from his mouth.

"Try it," she pleaded, her bright eyes dancing.

"No!" Simon gasped through his laughter.

Kaylee rolled her eyes, not unkindly. "You're such a bore," she teased. "It's easy, look…"

She snapped a corner off her cookie and placed the end of her straw over it. Simon watched disbelievingly

"It won't work."

"Have faith," she told him, before taking a deep breath. She sucked at the straw hard, holding the morsel in place, and slowly moved it towards her mug.

Simon followed her progress with his eyes, and was marginally impressed when she dunked the biscuit into the hot liquid.

"Wow," he said softly. Kaylee snorted, causing her tea to bubble, and the crumb sank to the bottom of her mug, causing Simon to start laughing again.

"You distracted me!" Kaylee moaned. She handed him the straw. "Your turn."

Kaylee was laughing, and Simon was beginning to think she would die of exhaustion before she stopped. River, who hadn't been sleepy and was joining them not for the first time, was giggling too, and between the two of them Simon had no idea how he was managing to keep a straight face.

"It's really none of our business," he informed them, watching as Kaylee struggled to take a sip of tea whilst laughing. She rolled her eyes at him.

"He always been like this?" she asked River through her laughter.

"Like what?" Simon interceded.

River rounded her brown eyes on him, her laughter quelled. "No fun," she said, smiling slightly.

Simon raised his eyebrows and tried to look offended, turning back to Kaylee. "No fun?"

Kaylee just laughed harder and said nothing, her eyes twinkling playfully as they met his.

"Huh," said Simon in mock anger, "Find yourself a new tea-drinking partner, then,"

River raised her hand as if she was in school, straining out of her seat and making small 'ooh' noises to attract attention.

Kaylee smirked, and pointed wordlessly at River, who cried out gleefully.

"You've been replaced," Kaylee told Simon over River's cheers. "Go on, get lost."

With great dignity, Simon got to his feet, and had actually taken a few steps before Kaylee wrapped her fingers around his wrist and dragged him back, giving him a playful push back into his seat.

"Oh okay, you can stay for today," she told him, pretending to be put out. She exchanged a glance with River, and the two girls began laughing again.

Simon shook his head.

A girl appeared at the door, and the three froze. Saffron lowered her eyes submissively and moved towards the kitchenette.

Kaylee looked at Simon, biting her lip to stop herself from laughing.

He sniggered. He couldn't help it.

Mal entered the room a few seconds behind his new bride. He took in the sight of Saffron working and his three crew members watching him, and scowled.

The three burst out laughing once more. Mal began to look more than annoyed, and Simon, thinking quickly, grabbed River and ushered both her and Kaylee out of the room.

"Did you see his face?" gasped Kaylee, once they were out of hearing distance.

"Kaylee," Simon said, calming himself. "It's none of our business."

She looked at him. He looked at her.

She kept a straight face for about two seconds.

He just about managed three.

It was ten past eleven when Kaylee burst into the galley.

Simon raised an eyebrow in question. The girl was covered in even more engine grease than usual. It was smeared all over her face. She looked adorable.

"Problem?"

She shook her head. "Not anymore."

He nodded towards her mug. "It's probably gone cold," he informed her apologetically.

She shrugged. "Ain't a problem," She took a sip and wrinkled her nose slightly. "I've had worse," she told him brightly.

They sat there in comfortable silence, Kaylee drinking her tea as fast as she could before it got even colder.

"How's River?" she asked after a moment. "Sleeping?"

"No," he answered. "She slept right through last night. No nightmares."

Kaylee's face lit up. "That's wonderful!"

Simon nodded.

"So where is she?"

"With the shepherd," he told her. "She's drawing and he's reading. The silence was killing me, so I left them to it."

Kaylee settled back into her chair, draining the last of her tea.

"I oughta go get cleaned up," she said, sounding a little embarrassed.

Simon wanted to tell her not to go, that was no need to wash her face on his account.

"Yeah," he said, "because you've got just a _little_ something, just there…" He reached out to brush her face and she swatted his hand away, laughing.

"Very funny, Simon. Trust you to only develop a sense of humour when you're being mean."

"I have a sense of humour," he told her as she got to her feet.

She rolled her eyes. "I know. Just no one believes me."


	3. Chapter 3

Cup of Tea – Part Three

"Aren't you tired, mei mei?" Simon asked bracingly.

From her perch on the infirmary counter, River fixed her eyes on him and shook her head slowly.

Simon glanced at his watch. "Okay. What do you want to do?"

River said nothing, but shrugged. Simon sighed. She'd been doing so well for the past week. Now she was sullen and silent, and insisting on following him around wherever he went.

Trying again, Simon moved over to sit beside her. "Do you want something to read?"

There was no response.

"Do you want to draw?"

Nothing.

"You could visit Inara," he suggested.

Still nothing.

"…or Wash? Do you want to go sit on the bridge?"

She shook her head.

Simon sighed again. Last resort.

"Should we go visit Kaylee?"

River reached for his wrist and turned it over to look at his watch. She smiled. "Yes. It's time."

Simon didn't smile. He just took her hand and got to his feet. "Come on then?"

Kaylee, who was waiting in the galley, beamed when she saw Simon and River enter. She got to her feet as they approached, moving to pour another cup for River.

"Something wrong?" she asked, noticing their glum faces. Simon shook his head. River just blinked and held her hand out for her tea. She took a sip and smiled. "Thank you," she said.

"You're welcome sweetie," Kaylee responded.

Simon watched as the girls chatted, a resentful feeling he couldn't explain growing in the pit of his stomach.

As he drained the last cold dregs of his tea, River got to her feet, planted a quick kiss on his cheek, and left. Kaylee and Simon watched her go in silence.

"What's wrong, Simon?" Kaylee asked after a moment, sounding concerned.

"Nothing," he told her shortly.

"Simon?" she pressed. "What's wrong?"

He turned to look at her, her eyes wide with genuine concern, and wondered how she had solved in five minutes what he had been trying to achieve all morning.

"River had a bad morning," he said, unhelpfully.

Kaylee frowned. "But she seemed fine just now…"

_ Yeah _Simon thought moodily, _no thanks to me… _

Four months on Serenity. Simon peered at his battered face in the mirror. Four months and he hadn't learned anything about taking care of himself. He frowned at his battered reflection in a self deprecating fashion. Silently cursing Stitch, he turned away, jumping as he came face to face with River. She giggled at his reaction.

"Mei mei," he said tolerantly, "What have I told you about sneaking up on me, on people?"

She blinked solemnly. "I broke it."

"Broke what?" Simon asked, confused, guiding her to his bed and then sitting beside her.

"Book," she muttered unhelpfully.

"What book?"

"Book's"

Simon paused, utterly perplexed.

"Which books?"

River gave him a despairing look. "Book's book. Bible. Broken,"

Simon nodded, finally understanding. "But you gave him the pages back, didn't you?"

River nodded. "Broke it, now it can't be fixed," she looked at him, her eyes watery. "Like me," she breathed.

"No, mei mei," Simon said quickly, pulling her into a hug. "You're not broken. You're going to be fine."

She shook her head, whimpering slightly. He stroked her hair, it was damp from sweat.

"I want to go to sleep," she whispered.

"Okay," Simon said. They moved across to her room, and she got into bed.

"Are you going to be okay?" he asked, tucking her in.

River nodded. "You have to go," she mumbled sleepily.

"What?" Simon asked, worried.

River sniffed. "You'll be late."

Simon looked at his watch. Eleven fifteen. He looked back at his sister's tear stained face and leaned over to kiss her forehead.

"I'll stay until you get to sleep, mei mei," he told her softly.

"Go," she murmured, almost inaudibly. And with that she fell into a peaceful slumber. Simon watched her thoughtfully for a moment, waiting to see if she would move.

Then he stood up, walked calmly to the door, shut it quietly, and dashed off to the galley.

Kaylee was perched on her usual chair, her arms wrapped around her knees, gazing blankly in front of her.

Simon noticed there was only one mug on the table.

"You came," Kaylee said, sounding surprised.

"Of course."

A small smile broke out on her face.

"I'll pour you a cup," she began to stand, but he stopped her.

"I'll do it. You want a refill?"

"Sure," she handed him her empty mug.

She was unusually quiet, Simon noticed as he sat down.

"Something wrong?" he asked, concerned.

She shook her head.

Unconvinced, Simon put his cup down. "Kaylee?" he prompted gently.

She looked at him, and her eyes were wide.

"Are we okay?"

The question was so unexpected that Simon frowned, not comforting her in the slightest.

"What do you mean?"

She looked down at her mug sadly. "I was real mean to you back in Canton."

Simon blinked. "Well. Not really. Er… I mean, I probably deserved it…"

She looked at him, a little amused. "Probably?"

He smiled, and then continued. "What brought this on?"

She looked away again, shrugging in a non-committed way.

"We were okay last night, weren't we?" Simon asked, remembering her teasing him in his bunk vividly.

Kaylee nodded. "It's just I thought… if I hadn'ta made you stay you wouldn'ta got hurt,"

Simon considered this. "If I hadn't upset you, you wouldn't have made me stay,"

She looked at him, clearly not accepting his unspoken offer to shift the blame.

Simon said nothing else on the subject, but pushed the plate of biscuits closer to her. "Look on the brightside," he joked.

"Which is?"

"I was hoping you'd tell me. You seem to be the expert."

She laughed, and took a biscuit.

"Lemme think," she said, taking a bite. She munched on it for a moment and then smiled.

"What?" he asked.

"The brightside," she said, "is that I got to see you drunk."

Simon rolled his eyes.

"Yeah. Bright."

There was a loud knock on the door, and Inara jumped, smudging the ink on the paper before her.

"Come in," she called.

Kaylee dashed into the shuttle, looking feverish. "Inara, you gotta help me," she gasped.

"Of course, sweetie," Inara said calmly, getting to her feet, wondering what had got the young mechanic so jumpy.

"Can I borrow some tea?"

Inara blinked. That certainly hadn't been what she expected.

"Er, of course," she said, moving gracefully towards her store and pulling out a small decorative tin in which to heap the grains. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Kaylee shifting nervously from foot to foot. Amused, Inara watched as the girl craned her neck to look at the clock.

"Are we in a hurry?" Inara asked, trying to keep the amusement in her voice to a minimum.

"Um," Kaylee started, clearly wanting to say yes but not wishing to be rude.

Smiling, Inara hurriedly tipped some tea into the tiny tin.

"I would remind you that we're landing in a few hours to stock up, but apparently that isn't soon enough," she said, as she handed Kaylee the tin.

Kaylee offered no explanation but leaned over to kiss Inara's cheek.

"Thank you so much," she said quickly and rushed from the shuttle.

Inara shook her head, bemused. She turned to look at the clock, as if it could offer her some enlightenment. It didn't, but simply informed her that it was ten to eleven.

Simon sat in his chair, watching the captain sleep. He kept glancing out the door and checking his watch, both pointless endeavours, as he couldn't leave the infirmary. He glanced at one of the screens, which informed him that Mal was still fine.

It was hard to shake the memory of following the trail of blood Mal had left all the way to the bridge, harder still to forget the image of him lying there, covered in blood, almost dead. Simon wondered if any one else on the crew knew just how close they had been to losing their captain. It had been a matter of minutes… if Wash hadn't been able to give Mal blood, it would have been too late.

That wasn't something that Simon wanted to think about. As much as he conflicted with Mal on many things, Simon respected the man, and he also appreciated fully the lengths to which the captain had gone to keep Simon and River safe. Simon swallowed hard. There was definitely something to be said for working in a hospital where you didn't know any of your patients. The constant emotional turmoil on top of everything else was getting to be more than he could bear.

He wished he could be in the galley with Kaylee, drinking tea.

As if she could read his mind, she appeared at the infirmary door, smiling brightly and holding two steaming mugs. She moved towards him, her smile faltering only slightly as her eyes passed over the sleeping captain.

"Figured you wouldn't wanna leave him," she said, by way of explanation, eyes still on Mal. "He gonna be okay?" she asked, handing him his mug.

"He'll be fine," Simon said, knowing the words were true. He stood up and offered the chair to Kaylee, who giggled as she took it.

"Such a gentleman," she teased.

Simon blushed. He hated that he blushed so easily. He wanted to think of a snappy comeback but his mind was blank so he took a sip of tea and said nothing.

Kaylee started slowly spinning back and forth in the chair, a look of child-like joy on her face.

"Enjoying yourself?" he asked, watching her.

"Yup," she replied, giggling.

"You'll spill your tea."

She pulled a face. "Simon."

"Kaylee."

"You're such a spoilsport."

He stuck out his tongue and she laughed in surprise, spilling a little tea in her lap. He started chuckling at that, and opened his mouth to speak.

"Don't" she protested. "Don't say it!"

"Say what?" he asked playfully.

"You know what."

"What?"

"Simon!"

He gave her the most innocent look he could muster.

"Kaylee," he said, seriously.

"What?"

He looked her in the eye, his face impassive. "I told you so."

Kaylee was making Simon very nervous, not least because she was swinging her chair back on two legs, talking animatedly. He wordlessly edged closer, just in case.

"… an' he just shoots the guy in the leg, and asks the captain how big a room!" she was saying, giggling. "Can you believe that?"

The chair wobbled a little, and Simon flinched. "Knowing Jayne? Yes, actually."

Kaylee shot him a look. "He ain't so bad." Then she smirked. "He's jus' jealous of you, is all."

This statement momentarily grabbed Simon's full attention. "Jayne? Jealous? Of me?"

Kaylee nodded. "S'what I said."

Simon shook his head dismissively. "That's crazy," he said, distracted once more by the chair's insistent swaying. "Kaylee, maybe you should…"

"How's it crazy? You gots lots o' things to be jealous of."

Simon remained unconvinced. "Are you referring to my status as a fugitive or my mentally unstable sister?"

Kaylee swung her chair back onto four legs with a resounding bang. Simon breathed a sigh of relief. They heard an annoyed Jayne-like yell from below, and ignored it.

"You gots lots of things," Kaylee repeated quietly, but it appeared she didn't want to elaborate.

There was an uncomfortable silence. Simon searched for something to say.

"So… Mal let Jayne on board, just like that?"

With a nod, Kaylee swung back up onto two legs. "Yep. Brought him on an' never looked back."

There came more cursing from the cargo bay, and shared an appreciative smirk. "Well, rarely looked back," Kaylee amended.

She hesitantly rested her feet on the table, and Simon gulped.

"Are you sure that's safe?"

She only gave him an amused look in reply.

Though less than reassured, Simon spoke again. "So, how did you end up on the crew?"

Then, Kaylee did the last thing he expected. She blushed.

"Oh, there ain't much of a story. Just captain was looking for a mechanic an' he found me. Used to work for my daddy, wanted to see the 'verse…" she shrugged. "An' here I am."

Simon smiled. "That's it?"

"That's it," she confirmed, not meeting his eye.

"Then why are you going red?" he teased.

"I ain't!"

Simon laughed. "Kaylee. You're blushing. Come on, tell me the story."

She was beginning to smile reluctantly, he noticed. He reached forward and poked her in the side playfully, making her giggle and squirm.

"Okay, okay," she gasped in surrender. "I'll tell you…"

She turned to face him, but her sudden movement tipped the balance of her chair, and she was falling. Moving faster than he'd known he could, Simon reached out and grabbed her waist, pulling her towards him as the chair hit the floor with a crash.

They both looked at each other in silence as the sounds of a violent Jayne approaching reached their ears. Simon felt aware of only one thing; how close she was, practically sitting in his lap. Her face was near to his, too, pink and flushed. He felt inexplicably breathless, and suddenly realized how hot it had got.

"Er, I…" he stuttered, looking anywhere but at her lips, her eyes.

"Thank you," she breathed, and involuntarily, he met her eyes.

"You're welcome," he whispered, unconsciously inching closer.

"What the ruttin' hell is going on up here?" yelled Jayne, storming into the galley and not noticing the two spring apart. "Every time you two feel the need to hurl furniture around, I bang my head on the ruttin' grate." He paused to take in the sight, Kaylee now standing next to Simon, both flushed and out of breath. His eyes narrowed, his expression suddenly unusually shrew. "What the…"

"We're sorry, Jayne," Kaylee interrupted hurriedly. "Jus' fell of my chair is all." She forced a smile. "S'what you get when you swing back, ain't it?"

Simon said nothing, and the pair watched as Jayne lurched from the room, muttering angrily to himself as he went.

"Simon, I…" Kaylee started, as soon as Jayne was out hearing distance.

Simon thought about the way his heart was pounding, about why it was pounding, and cut her off. "I have to go."

Not trusting himself to look at her, he smiled in her general direction and hurried from the room.


	4. Chapter 4

**Cup of Tea – Part Four**

Kaylee's hands shook as she poured the tea. She was listening carefully for his footsteps, so familiar to her after all these months. She was early, she knew, but she hadn't been able to concentrate in the engine room all morning. She'd been able to hear River screaming and screaming all morning, and almost wished that Simon would be so preoccupied that he wouldn't come today.

She hadn't been able to face him or River that morning. No one knew that River had taken her gun and shot those men. No one had noticed anything amiss. But Kaylee couldn't get the image of River face afterwards out of her head. And as much as she didn't want to keep something like this from Simon, telling him that his sister was a killer, a methodical, deadly, killer, was even less appealing.

She heard his footsteps and her heart sank. Plastering a smile on her face, she placed the cups on the table and was taking her seat as he entered, looking exhausted. He fell on the tea wordlessly, drinking deeply from the mug. She watched him silently.

He sighed with satisfaction. "I needed that," he told her, sounding, if possible, even more tired than he looked.

"Is River…?" she began.

"Sleeping," he finished. "Finally."

Kaylee pursed her lips, sympathetic. "She'll be okay. Yesterday shook us all up."

Simon nodded, apparently too tired to disagree.

They sat in silence, both immersed in their own thoughts. Kaylee wished that he would leave so she could cry.

"Kaylee," he began after a moment, sounding nervous. "Can you… I mean, I wouldn't ask, it's just…"

"What?" she asked evenly.

He looked at her, and she saw desperation in his eyes.

"Could you go see her?"

She clenched her mug tightly. He rushed on.

"I know it's asking a lot, it's just, she really likes you, and you always seem to help her… I've tried everything, but I just can't…" he trailed off, pressing his hands against his face.

"Simon, you should get some sleep," Kaylee told him, worried.

"That isn't an answer," he calmly told the palms of his hands.

Kaylee gritted her teeth. "Of course I will. Anything I can do to help,"

There was a pause.

"No," Simon said firmly, removing his hands but not looking at her. He got to his feet. "I retract the favour. She's my responsibility, no one else's"

She watched him leave, and ran to the engine room to cry.

Kaylee could feel River's eyes on her as she worked. It had been two weeks since Kaylee had watched her friend shoot three men, and though she was less anxious around her and at ease with Simon once more, it was disconcerting to know she was watching.

"You can come in, River," she called.

The girl entered the engine room, eyes fixed firmly on the engine. She looked simultaneously awed and confused. Kaylee noticed she was muttering to herself, her eyes darting over the machinery. Kaylee got the distinct, unsettling feeling that the girl was memorising where everything on the engine went.

"Be careful," she warned her, not wanting to have to tell Simon that his sister got hurt under her watch.

River smiled serenely, not taking her eyes off the engine. "All working. You can go."

Kaylee got to her feet and moved towards the girl. "I can what?"

River turned to look her straight in the eye, looking playful. "Don't want to be late."

Kaylee blushed, wondering just how much River knew about her developing feelings for her brother.

River's smile grew as she tilted her head on its side. "He hates when I can tell."

She offered no further explanation and drifted back out of the engine room, leaving Kaylee standing, utterly confused and inexplicably hopeful.

She almost skipped to the galley and beamed at Simon as she sat down in her usual seat.

"What are you so cheerful about?" he asked, and she could tell by his tone that he was in a good mood too. That was probably because River was wandering around and not sleeping.

"Simon," she said reproachfully, taking a biscuit. "When will you learn? I'm always cheerful!"

"Hold this," Kaylee instructed, thrusting the end of a paper banner in to Simons hand. He obliged, watched as she clambered up on to the countertop to attach the other end to the wall. She wobbled precariously, and without thinking, he stepped closer, putting one hand on her waist to steady her. She stilled instantly at his touch, and smiled down at him.

"Streamers," she ordered lightly. He passed a handful of the brightly coloured streamers to her.

As she moved along to fix the other end of the banner to the wall, he surveyed the room, taking in the bright decorations.

"Is it straight?" she called, and he moved to get a better look at the Happy Birthday banner.

"Further up," he told her, and she adjusted it. "Perfect."

She jumped down from the counter top and reached for a bag of balloons.

"Let's get started on these then," she said, handing him one.

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this," Simon said, moving back to his chair and stretching the balloon in his fingers.

Kaylee's eyes flashed with knowing mischief.

"Oh, come on. We gotta celebrate Jayne's birthday in style!"

Simon watched as the bereaved family in front of him looked down at Tracey's body. A trained doctor, Simon was managing to mostly ignore the little voice in his head telling him that he should have been able to save the man. He was struggling more with the idea that maybe he hadn't wanted to.

Kaylee's hand was cold and small in his own. She wasn't looking at him and he wasn't looking at her. He wondered at her compassion, at her sadness for the passing of a man who had held her at gunpoint. She had forgiven him instantly, Simon had watched her do it, watch her nod with a weak smile even as his blood stained her clothes.

Simon involuntarily gripped her hand a little tighter at the thought. He had heard her screams, had dashed from the infirmary in time to see Tracey holding her. Simon hadn't even heard the words the captain had spoken; he'd been too preoccupied with the look of terror on Kaylee's face.

He'd been glad when Mal shot Tracey. Hell, he'd wanted to shoot him himself.

Simon sneaked a tiny glance at Kaylee out of the corner of his eye. He watched a flake of snow melt on her eyelashes.

The expression on her face confirmed what he had feared. He was a terrible person.

Kaylee had felt his hand tighten around hers but hadn't reacted. Her eyes were fixed ahead of her, she was trying with everything she had to concentrate on what was before her; a funeral. The dull feeling that she'd missed out on something, that Tracey had died before his time, was still very much present in her mind, but it was being overshadowed by another feeling she was pretty unfamiliar with. Guilt.

Simon's grip on her hand was firm, solid, reassuring, but she couldn't help but think that his unshakeable manners and impeccable upbringing were the only things that had stopped him from pushing her away. She shivered, only partially from the cold, thinking about the way she had spoken to him, cold-shouldered him, insulted him when he'd only been offering to help.

She blinked, not wanting him to see her cry. She was usually one to wear her heart on her sleeve, but she had been finding herself more and more reluctant to let Simon see her being weak. She tried to look at him without moving her head. His face was impassive.

And Kaylee had to bite back a sob. She was a terrible person.

The next day, eleven o' clock came and went. Simon sat on the catwalk, cleaning Tracey's spilled blood from the rails. Kaylee sat in her hammock, tinkering with a grimy engine part in her hand.

River peered round the entrance to the galley, saw the empty room, and rolled her eyes.

At eleven o' clock the next day, Kaylee heard a noise outside the engine room. She clambered out from underneath the engine, wiped her hands, and moved towards the doorway to see who her visitor was. But no one was there. Only a tray on the floor, with a steaming cup of tea and a plate of her favourite biscuits.

At eleven o' clock the day after that, Simon looked up from the medical journal he was writing in, and thought he saw a flash of colour disappear round the corner. He glanced down at the doorway of the infirmary and smiled to himself.

River smiled at him serenely from her place on the bed. "Drink it while it's still hot."

A day later, Simon was dragged by an insistent River into the galley at quarter to eleven, where she set him to work with the kettle and turned to go and retrieve Kaylee.

She sighed to herself as she went. Big brothers were too much like hard work.

"Simon!" Kaylee gasped, feeling her eyes fill with water. She was laughing so hard it hurt, but she couldn't stop and he clearly wasn't going to let her.

He swung back a little on his chair; his feet up on another, looking more relaxed than she'd ever seen him. The grin on his face was also unusual, but not out of place. She loved it when his smile spread to his eyes, as it was doing now.

"It's not that funny," he told her, even as he suppressed his own mirth.

"Yes it is," she said, breathless. She attempted to collect herself. "Okay, okay. I'm calm."

His eyes twinkled. "You sure?"

She cracked up again. "Yes," she lied.

He chuckled to himself and waited for her second wind to pass, watching her pensively.

"I've missed this," he told her quietly, when her laughter had subsided.

She sobered slightly. "Me too." She paused, then beamed at him. "If that's what happened when you made doctor, I'd love to hear what you did when you made surgeon!"

Simon smiled, giving away nothing. "That's a story for another day."

Kaylee pouted, and without warning he felt a shock shoot down his spine. He barely heard her next words as he straightened up in his seat.

"Oh, come on, Simon, tell me."

Only the pleading, teasing lilt to her voice registered, and he got to his feet. She watched him, puzzled.

"I have to go check on River," he told her, cursing himself for sounding so breathless.

She nodded wordlessly, and he left, practically running to his bunk. He collapsed on his bed, his head spinning with confusion, with regret, with guilt, and with desire.

_ "Kaylee."_

_It did things to her, hearing him gasp her name against her ear as he moved above her. She moaned as their hips met, at the sensations thrumming through her body at his touch._

_His hands were gliding up her sides, his thumbs gently massaging her skin as they moved together, faster. She felt herself begin to shake, felt her body slowly slip from her control, and knew she was completely at the mercy of the man above her, the man holding her firmly in place as he brought her to her fall. Only one word could travel from her clouded mind and form itself on her lips as they collapsed onto each other._

"_Simon." _

Kaylee woke with a start, shaking and drenched in sweat. It didn't take her long to realise she'd been dreaming, she was becoming accustomed to it after all. Still panting heavily, she lay back into her pillow. The memories of the dream were, for the moment, still very much alive, and she allowed herself to enjoy them as she drifted back to sleep.

Simon turned over in his bed, trying in vain to get comfortable. His watch, glowing from where he'd dropped it on the shelf, told him it was nearing 3 am. Simon took several deep breaths.

Over the past few hours he'd been using every trick he knew to help himself sleep, but nothing was working. He suddenly empathised with the patients who'd had trouble sleeping back in his early days as a doctor. He understood perfectly their annoyed expression when he refused to give them sleeping tablets. Right now, the only thing stopping him from marching to the infirmary to dope himself was the knowledge that it probably wouldn't wear off till about mid day.

The fact was he couldn't sleep when he was thinking. And right now, his thoughts were stubbornly stuck on Kaylee. Too tired to continue forcing her out of his mind, he laid back and closed his eyes once more, allowing her image to fill his head.

He imagined her now, curled up in her bunk, and although he'd never seen the room, he could see her quite clearly. He could see the peaceful smile that never left her face, could see her tousled hair spread over her pillow.

Slowly, as Simon's body began to relax and his conscious mind shut down, the image changed. Kaylee was curled up next to him, her hands resting on his chest, her skin smooth against his. A smile on his face, Simon allowed his dreams to take over.

_Her hair was soft against his cheek, and he opened his eyes to look down at her, mesmerised by her. She shifted slightly against him in her sleep, and he smiled, pressing a kiss to her temple. She moaned softly and his smile grew wider, kissing her again as her eyes fluttered open._

"_Simon," she murmured._

_Her lips found his and he drank in everything about her, her scent, her touch, her taste. He felt his body awaken as she moved, pressing herself against him, kissing him urgently._

"_Did you want something?" she whispered against his lips, teasing him with her deft fingers as she spoke._

_A soft groan escaped Simon's lips. "You," was all he could manage to say before pulling her to him. His head spinning, he felt her straddle him, and gasped, wondering how anything so simple could ever feel so good. _

When Simon woke the next morning, he'd only had five hours sleep. But for some reason he couldn't remember, he was feeling more relaxed than he had in weeks.


	5. Chapter 5

Cup of Tea – Part Five

Simon pulled the covers over River, tucking her in as if she were still a child.

"You're getting to old for this," he told her firmly, smiling.

She replied by poking her tongue out at him. He responded with the same, and she giggled.

"Tired," she told him.

"Sleep now," he said softly, brushing her hair out of her face. "I'll give you a…"

"Not me," she said, though her eyes fluttered closed. "You."

Simon frowned, puzzled. "Mei mei, I'm…"

"Tired," she supplied, sleepily. "Tired of waiting."

Simon said nothing. He had a feeling he knew exactly what, or rather who, she was talking about.

River's eyes opened ever so slightly. "No more waiting. Go."

"River…?" began Simon, utterly confused.

"Go," she murmured once more, appearing to slip into a peaceful slumber.

He was almost out of the door when he hear her say softly, "Blow out the candles."

He smiled, remembering their childhood ritual. His fingers hovered over the light switch.

"One, two, three…"

She blew in the direction of the light as he turned it off.

"I blew it out," she teased.

"Wow," he humoured her, "that's a pretty big blow."

He heard the smile in her voice. "Night Simon. No more waiting."

"Goodnight mei mei," he said as he closed the door.

He moved away from his sister's bunk and found Kaylee watching him with a big smile on her face.

_i Tired of waiting_. /i His sister's words echoed through his head.

"Hey," he greeted her warmly.

She sat down, drawing him towards her. "I used to do that with my momma," she told him.

"Do what?" he asked, sitting next to her.

"Pretend to blow out the lights."

Simon blushed, embarrassed that she'd witnessed his childish behaviour. "Yeah, we used to do it when we were kids. I remember once when I was ill, and River was about eight, and she tried to get me to blow them out but she couldn't reach the light switch." He chuckled at the memory. "She almost killed herself climbing on top of my desk…"

Kaylee smiled encouragingly at him; she loved it when he opened up and talked about his past. "So what happened?"

"Oh, my mother caught her and yelled at her for bothering me." Simon's smile faded. "Then she banned her from seeing me till I got better."

Kaylee's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yep," Simon nodded sombrely, but then he smirked. "Of course, River was never one to do as she was told."

Giggling, Kaylee glanced over at the girls bunk. "I can imagine."

They looked at each other for a moment, and Simon thought back to what River had said, feeling as if there was something right in front of him that he'd somehow missed.

"So how did she act when you left for medical school?" Kaylee asked. She crossed her legs, shifting on the sofa so that she was facing him.

"Er," started Simon, ever so eloquently, distracted by her ankle now brushing against his thigh. "She wanted to come with me."

Kaylee laughed, delightedly. "Really?"

Her smile was infectious. "Really."

"That's so cute," Kaylee said, her eyes crinkling in adoration. "I want a little sister!"

Simon chuckled. "Feel free to share," he told her.

He couldn't say why his attention was suddenly drawn there, but as she giggled some more at his comment, he noticed her feet were bare. And so tiny… how had he never noticed how small and sweet her feet were?

"Aw, I don't think there's a power in the 'verse can tear River away from her big brother," Kaylee said fondly.

Simon merely grinned at the compliment, distracted by the vivid pink nail polish adorning her toes.

"Aren't your feet cold?" he found himself asking. He managed to stop himself from adding i _"and your … legs?" /I _

"Nope," she told him. She poked his leg with her toes, and Simon felt his nerve cells tingle.

"You're crazy," he told her, an unknown force causing him to reach out and tap the smooth skin of her feet absently. "It's cold, and god knows what you could stand on…"

"Well," said Kaylee, and her voice sounded playful but for the first time, slightly unsure. "Your sister spends enough time walking around barefoot."

Simon looked at her sceptically. "Right. Because River isn't crazy at all."

She threw back her head, laughing, and Simon realised that both her feet were in his lap, and his was massaging her skin gently, and he didn't even know how it had happened. Her skin was so smooth, so warm…

"I like it when you relax, Simon," she told him sincerely, and he lowered his eyes, embarrassed, preferring to ponder over her perfect skin than to meet her eye.

Kaylee watched him, taking in the content smile on his face, the hint of a blush on his cheeks, the nervous but gentle way he caressed her skin. She tried to stay calm, but it was hard with his warm hands ghosting over her legs. She just wanted to climb on top of him, but she knew that he had to be coaxed out of his Core bred ways and she should be, was, grateful for this progress.

Still, she was certain the feel of his touch would be with her long after she crawled into bed that night.

They sat in blissful silence for a while, Simon stroking her feet dazedly, Kaylee, leaning back and studying him happily. The silence was broken when her stomach rumbled. She felt her face turn bright red.

"Hungry?" he teased, delighted to see a blush spread across the face of the usually unabashed mechanic.

She shook her head, not wanting either of them to move. "No."

He raised an eyebrow, "No?"

"No," she said more firmly, but couldn't stop the smile from slipping on to her face.

"You know, I'm a doctor, you can't lie to me."

She giggled more. "Okay, okay, rub it in, why don'tcha? I'm an eating machine!"

He chuckled. "Well, powdered protein ain't exactly the most filling…"

"Ain't?" she interrupted, sounding breathless.

"Sorry?" he asked, puzzled at the delighted expression on her face.

"You just said 'ain't!'" she told him, sounding overjoyed.

"I…" Simon pondered. "No, I didn't," he told her, sounding unconvinced.

Kaylee was laughing now. "Yes, you did."

He grinned at her. "You're rubbing off on me," he said. The words came out softly, more huskily than he had intended. She shivered pleasantly and wondered if he noticed.

"My apologies," she murmured.

Her eyes met his. The air between them crackled, and without realising it, Simon was leaning closer. He could see the anticipation on her face as she moved to meet him, her small, assuring smile encouraging him. They were so close; he could see every detail of her soft lips, her curling eye lashes, her…

A burst of laughter from the galley above reached them, making them both jump. The moment was lost, and Simon quickly backed away, the hazy confident feeling that had been dictating his actions for the past ten minutes retreating, leaving him lost, scared, regretful, and with a lap full of Kaylee's feet.

"Someone's havin' fun," Kaylee commented, light-heartedly, trying to cover the awkwardness.

Simon forced a smile. He opened his mouth, wanting to say something, anything, to salvage the moment, but he couldn't, so he just nodded and closed his mouth again.

Kaylee looked down at her hands. So many thoughts were running through her head, but she wouldn't allow herself to brood over whether or not he'd been about to kiss her… she had to say something to save this moment… the silence was already dragging on. She'd never been lost for words with Simon, with anyone, but she was now, and if she didn't speak now it would be too late.

But even as she opened her mouth, not knowing what she intended to say, he spoke.

"You know, I owe you a story," he said, gazing intently at her feet. She got the sudden feeling that he'd been just as desperate to keep the conversation going.

"You do?" she asked, thankful and surprised that he'd managed to speak.

He nodded. "You wanted to hear about how I celebrated when I made surgeon."

Kaylee's eyes lit up, he noticed.

"So I did," she said, and wriggled slightly to get more comfortable. "Shoot."

"The plan is not to shoot you. The plan is to get the girl. If there's no girl then the plan, well…. it's like the room... You are gonna help me look for her."

Simon felt eerily calm. He looked at the gun the bounty hunter was brandishing. He had always thought he would be scared of death, but here he was, and he felt only calm. Safe in the knowledge that there was no threat that could convince him to help this man.

"I don't think my last act in this 'verse will be betraying my sister," he told the man defiantly.

"You're gonna help me," came the confident reply, "'cos every second you're with me is a chance to turn the tables. Get the better of me. Maybe you'll find your moment. Maybe I'll slip."

Simon was about to tell the man firmly that there was nothing he could say that would persuade him, when Early continued.

"Or, you refuse to help me, I shoot your brain out, and I go upstairs and spend sometime violating the little mechanic I got trussed up in the engine room. I take no pleasure in the thought but she will die, weeping, if you cross me."

Everything ground to a halt. _Except that, _Simon thought bitterly.

Kaylee's heart was thudding so hard, she was having a hard time believing she was still capable of movement. Only vaguely reassured by Book's return to consciousness, she had listened to River's speech, telling herself and him most firmly that it was all part of the plan, that it wasn't true… but she didn't quite believe it. There was a clarity in River's voice that Kaylee had rarely witnessed, and she felt in her heart that the words the girl spoke were heartfelt and sincere.

_'People can … be the people they want to be … be with the people they want.' _

Kaylee wanted to cry. The last thing she wanted was for her friend to think she had to step aside in order for Simon and Kaylee to be happy.

But a greater fear was gripping at Kaylee …Simon didn't know the plan. And Kaylee knew there was nothing, nothing that would stop him from trying to save his sister.

"Simon," she breathed. She turned to Book. "He doesn't know."

Book's eyes widened as he struggled into a sitting position, but before he could speak, a gun shot rang out from above.

Kaylee forgot everything then. She forgot Early, forgot his threats, forgot his armour, forgot his training and the effortlessness with which he had apparently taken Serenity's crew. She forgot River, forgot the Captain, forgot the bleeding Shepherd before her. She forgot fear. All she remember was Simon, and she was up and running, deaf to Book's panicked pleas for her to stop.

She wouldn't know, as she raced up through the galley where she and Simon had sat so many times, how close she'd been. How moments before, Early had clambered out of the hatch and pulled it shut behind him. With no thought whatsoever for the bounty hunter's whereabouts, she was at Simon's side in an instant.

"Kaylee…" he gasped as he saw her. "River… can you…?"

"River's fine," she told him. His leg was bleeding, she noted with relief, which meant the bullet hadn't hit anything more serious. "Let's get you to the infirmary."

"But…" Simon protested. "He's going to…"

Kaylee cupped his face in her hands. "Simon. River is fine. She has a plan."

"Wha…" Simon was weakening, she could see. A gasping, shuddering sob escaped her.

"Simon, I…" she cried, not knowing what she was trying to say. His eyes fluttered. "Simon!" she moaned. "Please, Simon…"

She felt a hand squeeze hers, and wondered how they'd come to be holding hands.

"S'okay," he slurred, opening his eyes, "I just need to…"

Beside them, the door to Wash and Zoe's bunk opened, and Zoe's gun proceeded the couple out.

"Help me get him to the infirmary," Kaylee cried. "Quick."

Zoe took in the girl's distraught face, and glanced at her husband, who understood instantly.

"Step back, Kaylee, we got him," he reassured the girl as he stooped to lift the weakening doctor to his feet.

Simon groaned in agony at the impact. Kaylee whimpered.

"Kaylee," Zoe said firmly, moving to Simon's other side. "We got him."

The four made their way down to the infirmary, Kaylee reluctantly leaving to collect Book on the way. Once there, Kaylee busied herself cleaning Book's minor injuries.

She glanced at Simon, then at Zoe. "Will he..?"

It was Simon himself who answered, looking slightly more aware now he was sitting down. "I'll be fine."

"You gotta stay with me, doc," Zoe told him, moving forwards. "I need you to tell me how to do this."

Simon nodded, leaning back, his face paler than ever. "Okay…"

"Wait," interrupted Zoe, listening intently. "That was the hatch. Kaylee, go see to the Captain and River."

"Bu…" Kaylee began to protest, but Zoe cut her off.

"Shepherd, go wake Jayne. Give him a flogging for sleeping all the way through this."

"Inara…" murmured Simon suddenly. "He locked her in… hit her."

Kaylee bit her lip, but Book got to his feet. "I'll go to her."

He guided Kaylee out of the infirmary, closing the door behind them, leaving Kaylee with the distinct feeling they all wanted her as far away from the infirmary as possible.

She heard the awkward sound of people walking in space suits, and moved towards it.

"River!" she sighed, letting out a breath she hadn't been aware of holding. "You're okay!" She embraced the young girl, no mean feat with a spacesuit.

"I'm fine too, lil' Kaylee, thanks for your concern," the captain said jokingly, removing his helmet. Kaylee pressed a kiss to his cheek and then turned back to River. She needed to apologise.

"River, I…" she started, but River shook her head fervently.

"Don't be sorry," she told her in her serene way. "I told you it would be okay."

Kaylee blinked away the tears threatening to spill, and instead led River and the captain back toward the infirmary.

"Simon needs to see you … he's so worried."

"He's such a boob," River sighed, and though Mal laughed, Kaylee didn't even smile.

Zoe allowed River nothing more than a quick hand squeeze before ushering her and Kaylee away from Simon and out of the infirmary. Deciding they needed something to take their minds off things, Kaylee suggested a game.

Sitting where they could just see into the infirmary, and surrounded by the comforting sounds of Mal and Inara bickering and Jayne and the Shepherd lifting, they played jacks, and before Kaylee knew it, she was smiling again.

Kaylee heard Simon approaching, his usually familiar footsteps slower and heavier due to his newly acquired limp. She beamed at the teabags and grinned at the kettle and smirked at the biscuits.

Then she turned to face him. And smiled.

"Kaylee," he greeted her affectionately, hobbling to his seat.

"Simon," she replied, moving happily toward him with the tea.

He lowered himself into his chair and sighed with relief. "It's good to be rid of that rutting crutch," he told her "but…"

"But you're a stubborn _hwoon dahn_ and can't really walk without it?" she supplied, eyes dancing.

He chuckled good-naturedly. "Something like that."

She placed the biscuits between them and took her own seat. "At least you got the balls to admit it," she said. And then she wanted to kick herself. _Had she really just said that?_

But Simon didn't seem at all phased, which she guessed meant he'd finally become accustomed to at least _some aspects_ of life in the black. About time.

He took a sip of tea, regarding her. "I'm glad you and River are finally back to being friends," he told her, impassively.

Kaylee felt herself redden. "We weren't ever … not…" she trailed off lamely.

Simon smiled knowingly. "I've been wondering, these past few weeks, why you were suddenly so jumpy with her." His expression saddened for a moment. "I guess now I know…" Shaking his head, he gave her another small smile. "I'm sorry I wasn't more understanding…that night…"

Kaylee's eyes were wide. "No, don't be silly…"

"I was just…" Simon stammered, talking over her.

"It's okay, I know you was ..." Kaylee said awkwardly.

There was a pause, and they both laughed.

"We're ridiculous," Simon said softly.

"I know," she agreed, quietly.

He paused again. "I'm sorry," he told her sincerely.

She smiled. "You're forgiven."

The next moment, they were both reaching for the last biscuit, and their hands brushed. Kaylee, to her disbelief, felt herself blushing, as he politely pushed the plate towards her.

"Thank you," she said, feeling suddenly almost shy, itself a rare occurrence.

"No problem," he said. He shifted in his chair, and then winced, grabbing at his leg.

"Are you okay?" she asked, jumping to her feet and moving to his side.

"I'm fine," he assured her, "just hurts a little…"

"D'ya want me to go get you something… for the pain?" she fussed, looking worried.

He smiled, taking her hand and locking his eyes on hers, halting her. "Kaylee," he said evenly, "I'm fine."

She relaxed a little. "You sure?"

He nodded.

"Okay," she whispered, but made no move to go back to her seat. In fact she made no move to go anywhere. He was suddenly very aware of her hand in his. He wanted to look down to see if their hands fit together as well as it felt they did, but he couldn't drag his eyes from hers.

She seemed to be drawing nearer. Was she moving? Or was he? He didn't quite notice it happening, but suddenly he was on his feet, and the pain which usually hit him when he stood was strangely absent. And Kaylee's face was right in front of him, and she was so close…

He kissed her. Without thinking, he kissed her, taking her lips gently in his. They were even softer than they had looked, and her scent this close up made his head spin.

Stunned, she had barely registered what was happening, barely begun to respond when his thoughts caught up with him and he broke off, backing away from her.

_ This was not supposed to happen. He had told himself he would not let this happen. _

"I'm… sorry," he gasped, breathless.

"Wha…" she breathed, confusion clouding her features.

He was backing away still, frantic to get away. "I don't know what I…" he murmured lamely, still struggling to breathe. The pain had returned to his leg with vengeance, but he found himself not caring in the slightest.

"Simon," she gasped, and he detected a plea in her voice. He couldn't look at her anymore, because if he did he would never tear himself away.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, and without looking back he ran from the galley as fast as his wounded leg would carry him, leaving Kaylee standing confused, breathless and alone.

Simon burst into his bunk, closing the door behind him and slumping against it, panting heavily. He closed his eyes. He could still feel her lips on his … could feel her warm body pressed up against him. His imagination took over, and he could feel her standing with him now, pushing him against the door, her hands wrapped around his neck, tangled in his hair, as their lips worked together… Simon gasped, his head spinning, heart pounding.

In one fluid movement he pushed himself away from his bed and with a cry of rage kicked his bed, the sound of metal connecting with his foot echoing through the tiny room. He collapsed on his bed, grabbing his pillow and squeezing it hard, wanting to tear it into shreds…

He'd been raised better than this. He'd been raised better than to let himself lose control. There were situations where kissing was appropriate, and that hadn't been one of them.

He'd tried for so long to push Kaylee out of his thoughts. He'd told himself that it was normal to occasionally think of her in that way, he was a young man, with little contact with any other available females, and she had bright eyes and soft lips and always smiled when she saw him…He told himself it was just an infatuation, and it would pass.

And when his heart betrayed him, and the voice in the back of his mind, sounding annoyingly like River, told him that he was falling for her, he dismissed it. He reminded himself that he was here for River, that i everything /I was for River now. He forced himself to imagine how it would feel if anything happened to River because he wasn't focusing on her completely. He dreamed about it, nightmares, confused images of River and Kaylee dancing in front of his eyes.

And when the voice argued back, telling him he was being stupid, that Kaylee would look after River too, that she already did, he ignored it. He thought about his life, his future, of what was to come. A life as a fugitive, a life on the run. He couldn't, he wouldn't drag Kaylee into that. No matter how much he wanted her.

And then some days, after spending an especially nice morning with Kaylee, when River started crying or screaming, he wanted to scream too. He wanted to tell her it was all her fault, that he'd given up his entire life for her, but that hadn't been enough, because now he had to give up the chance of another life as well. He wanted to scream that he wanted River gone so he could go to Kaylee and hold her and finally know what that really felt like. But he loved his sister, and he wouldn't let his anger say things he didn't mean. So he'd wait until she was asleep and he'd go to his bunk and he'd let the tears fall.

The irony that he would never have met Kaylee if it hadn't been for his sister was not lost on Simon Tam.

There were no tears now, however. Right now, he had no one to blame but himself, and that thought almost comforted Simon. Self-blame was something Simon was used to, something he could handle. It was easier to blame himself.

Throwing the pillow away, he leaned back helplessly against the wall, feeling all the rage leak out of him, replaced only by the familiar dull ache of regret.

He's left her standing there. He'd kissed her, and then he'd left her.

Simon had been trying so hard, ever since he'd joined Serenity, to make Kaylee think he wasn't interested. He'd slipped up, so many times, letting himself get caught in a moment… but he'd persevered. Because it was essential. Essential that she'd think he didn't care. Because once she stopped trying to coax him out, he'd be able to relax.

It wasn't hard, anymore, to deny himself what he wanted. That had never been the problem. It was denying her what she so clearly wanted that was the problem. The fact that they wanted the same thing barely mattered.

Simon had considered, once or twice, lying to her. Telling her he had no feelings for her. But that meant admitting he thought she had feelings for him, and the reserved side of him couldn't do that. Besides, those words would make it final. They would mean no going back.

And now he had kissed her. Now she had to know how he felt. Now she would never give up.

Quietly at first, and then louder, more insistently, Simon began to laugh.

She would never give up.

The question was, would he?

Kaylee stood in her bunk, her back against the entrance, tears streaking down her face. The paintbrush she was holding in her trembling hands was shaking, the lines she painted unsteady, but when she felt like this she got the urge to do something. Usually she would go to the engine room and fiddle with the engine, but today that didn't seem enough. So she had retreated to her bunk, a place where Simon had never been, a place where she could scrunch up her eyes and pretend that Dr Simon Tam didn't exist.

Only it wasn't so easy, and the flowers she was trying to paint on her wall were suffering for it.

As hard as she tried not to think about how it had felt to be kissed by him, she couldn't help but relive the moment over and over in her head. The thrill she had felt at his impulsive behaviour, the way her skin had been set on fire at his touch. She could still smell him, she could still i taste /i him…

She heard footsteps from above, and tried to tell herself it was just the Captain looking for something in his bunk. But she couldn't mistake those footsteps, even if their owner hadn't been limping. She heard those footsteps everyday, moving around the galley at eleven o clock.

He didn't knock or call her name, which struck her as odd. He was always so careful to remain polite. She heard him climbing down the ladder to her bunk, and winced inwardly, knowing it must be hurting his leg.

"Kaylee," he said simply.

She didn't reply, but replaced her brush, thinking vaguely that if she was going to have her heart broken, she didn't want to be standing there holding a paintbrush.

She could feel him standing behind her, and it made her skin tingle, as if it was designed to alert her to his presence. He was moving forward, and the sensations only increased with proximity. She knew what he was going to do. He was going to stammer out an awkward apology, for something she didn't want him to apologise for.

It was always the same. He thought he'd broken the rules. She didn't even know what the rules were.

"I'm sorry," the words hung in the air palpably, and she knew he meant them. She knew he was sorry that he'd hurt her, sorry because he thought he'd overstepped the mark, but he didn't know why she was hurt, and she couldn't seem to tell him.

"Kaylee, I'm sorry," he repeated.

And something snapped.

"Get out," she told him coldly, turning to face him so suddenly that he stepped back in shock. He glanced uneasily at the exit to her bunk, but stood his ground.

"Kaylee…"

"Get out!" she screamed, hating herself for the way her voice cracked, betraying her while she tried to appear strong. "What's the point in apologising Simon? I don't want you to apologise! I want you to stop being such a gorram moron! But that ain't going to happen, so get out "

She said these last two words with such force that she stumbled a little, backing away from him as tears began to flood from her eyes. He was unmoving though, his eyes sad but oddly steely as they bored into hers.

"I can't hold on any longer, Simon," she sobbed quietly, turning away from him again. "You can't hold on to something that ain't there." She closed her eyes and allowed the tears to spill through her lashes, so she felt, rather than saw, as he moved towards her, took hold of her waist and in one fluid motion spun her around to face him.

She gasped, eyes fluttering open in shock.

"You're right."

There was a look of determination she had never seen in his eyes before. She simply gaped at him.

"You're right. I've kept us both waiting for too long,"

And with that, before his words could penetrate her brain, before the sensation spreading from his fingers on her waist could register, before she could even blink away the tears to regard him properly, he kissed her, softly but firmly, and every bit as if he meant it.

This time, she didn't hesitate. She couldn't be sure he wasn't going to run away again, and she wanted to enjoy this as much as she could, imprint every sensation in her memory before he did. But moments turned into seconds turned into minutes, and still he was kissing her, his arms wrapped around her waist, holding her tightly, as if he too was scared she would run away.

The heady thrill overcoming her fears, Kaylee pressed herself more firmly against him, feeling her skin awaken at his touch. Head spinning, she kissed him harder, and was delighted to find him responding with the same need, the same urgency. They parted for breath and her eyes met his. She saw his longing, but she saw something else there too.

"Kaylee," he breathed, gasping out words in between frantic kisses, "I've … been so … stupid."

"It's okay," she murmured against his skin, kissing down his jaw line. In return, she felt his teeth gently graze her neck, and found herself clinging to him in case her knees gave way.

"No," he told her softly, his breath hot against her skin. "It's not…. I'm sorry… I was just…."

He kissed her neck again, and she gasped into his ear, "What?"

Their lips met once more, and this kiss was filled with something more desperate than their lust.

"Scared," he whispered against her lips.

She pulled away a fraction, keeping her eyes trained on his. "Of what?"

He didn't hesitate. "Of falling in love."

Her hand was at his cheek, stroking him. "Simon…" She spoke the word so softly, but he heard.

"But it's too late," he went on, pulling her closer once more. He leaned his forehead against hers, and said a silent prayer that these words would fix the damage he had done. "It's too late because I did. I have."

Her eyes were wide as he stared right into them.

"I've fallen in love with you, Kaylee."

There was a moment's silence, broken only by their haggard breathing, and Simon's heart skipped a beat. i Please… /i

"Really?" she asked, and he could hear the hope and the vulnerability in her voice.

He smiled, and kissed her gently. "Really."

Then she kissed him again, and her lips gave told him what she then confirmed.

"I love you too, Simon."

With renewed urgency, she pulled his face to hers, needing more of him. She had waited such a long time to feel him against her, and though she couldn't have predicted the way she felt now, her thirst for him had not been quenched. Hands gripping him firmly, she backed towards the bed, pulling him with her. He obliged happily, his hands which had been resting on her waist sliding up her sides.

Her legs hit the bed and she backed onto it, dragging him down beside her. Meanwhile, her own hands were moving to unbutton his shirt, fingers nimbly revealing inch after inch of his muscled chest. Disposing of his shirt, she ran her hands down his smooth skin, feeling him shudder pleasantly and smiling despite herself.

"Don't suppose you had much practise removing jumpsuits back on Osiris," she teased, planting kisses down his chest.

He smiled mischievously, and kissed her, his hands slipping inside her jumpsuit and deftly sliding it off her.

"I'm a fast learner," he replied, hands now ghosting over her newly exposed skin.

Sighing happily, she pressed herself against him.

"Shut up and make love to me."

The last thought Kaylee managed to cling on to as Simon entered her for the first time, was that being with him in reality surpassed even her wildest dream. Moments later, she couldn't think at all; the dreams were wiped from Kaylee's mind as he moved above her, inside her. They gasped and groaned together as their hips met in perfect unison, his lips sliding down her neck, her nails grazing his back. Every inch of her body was on fire where it touched his.

"Kaylee," he groaned, his breath tickling her ear, making her skin tingle and her hips buck. He smiled at her reaction, his breath catching in his throat before another involuntary groan ripped from him. "Feel…amazing…" he gasped, and she moaned in agreement, her nails scrabbling against his shoulders.

She shifted beneath him, purring as he leaned in to kiss her, their lips meeting desperately, clumsily. Feeling the urgency build, Simon held her tighter, latching on to her neck as she raised her hips a little. The new position forced him in deeper and they both moaned together. As one, they began to rock together faster, Simon nipping at her skin with his teeth as she clung to him, the gasping in his ear only encouraging him to thrust deeper.

When he felt the end draw near, Simon lifted his head, his eyes meeting hers, and she wriggled in delight, because the doctor, always so focused, was now focused entirely on her. His eyes bore into her as she began to pant, feeling her body tremble.

"Simon!" she gasped, wanting to say something, but not knowing any words to justify the many things she was feeling.

But he knew. He rested his lips on hers as his head began to cloud. "Love you," he gasped, and he let go, feeling her shudder in release at the same time. She cried out and the sound made his already spinning head turn.

In exhaustion, he collapsed against her.

"Love you too," she panted against his ear, and she felt him smile against her skin.

"Good."

At eleven o clock, some days later, the couple could be found in the galley, sitting together.

"Are you trying to spill that all over yourself?" Simon asked, amused.

Kaylee paused. She was sitting with her head resting on his shoulder, tea cup halfway to her mouth.

"No," she said evenly, attempting to take a sip despite the awkward angle. Predictably, she choked on the hot liquid, and in the process, splashed tea over Simon's shirt. She sat up, giggling.

"Right," he said, trying and failing to sound angry. "You were trying to spill it all over me. Now I see."

"Sorry," she said, smiling so brightly that his frown disappeared and he leaned over to press a quick kiss to her lips.

"I bet you are," he murmured softly before sitting back, loving the cheeky expression on her face.

Kaylee placed the half empty tea cup on the table and took a biscuit.

"Well if you ain't gonna except my apology, I wash my hands of you," she joked, snapping the biscuit in two and popping one half in her mouth. She got to her feet and moved behind him.

"I'm off," she continued, feeding him the second half. "Goin' to find someone who can really appreciate me."

He laughed, standing as she pretended to walk away. Her grabbed her gently and pulled her back, bringing his face close to hers.

"Come with me," he whispered. "And I'll show you just how much I can appreciate you."

Her eyes flashed wickedly. "Lead the way, Dr Tam."

And, giggling, she followed him out of the galley, leaving behind a table, empty but for a plate of biscuits and two cups of tea.

_Fin _


End file.
